Roller Derby Chronicles: Keeping Up With the KarBash-u-in
I have been a fan of reality television for as long as I can remember. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Vanderpump Rules are some of my favorites…but my holy grail of reality shows will always and forever be Keeping Up with The Kardashian’s. Why is this a big deal? That’s how I got my derby name! Hi, I’m Khloe KarBash-u-in.
Let me be real, I could have picked Kim. She’s the most successful Kardashian. But did you know that Khloe has beat Kim MULTIPLE TIMES for the best reality tv star at the People’s Choice Awards? Khloe is my favorite underdog. Oftentimes, I feel like an underdog.
There’s a photo I found shortly after becoming a drafted member of the Beet City Bombers. It’s a photo of me in my grandma’s kitchen at four years old. I’m wearing roller skates, a fanny pack, and a sassy look on my face. Even then, I never forgot my knee pads. This photo proves that I was meant to play Roller Derby.
I know it may seem like such a bold statement to say “I was meant to play Roller Derby.” I understand this and I don’t take this lightly. Roller Derby had been my dream since I was fifteen years old. There were many signs over the years:
“Whip It” came out in 2009 and planted the seed.
Demolition Barbie from Treasure Valley Roller Derby worked at my local library. Little did I know, I would be playing against her in a bout many years later.
When I was a freshman in college, Dracu Latte from Treasure Valley Roller Derby was my barista.
When I was a sophomore in college, the Nampa Rollerdrome had a booth at an event. I asked the man working the booth if they had a Roller Derby team, and he told me about the Beet City Bombers. He even gave me their email and practice information. I was too scared at the time to take the leap. I regret this now because I could have been practicing with Dynamite Doll!
When I was a senior in college, it was time to get serious. I had a graduation dinner with my class and professors. Everyone went around the room sharing what their plans were after graduation. When my turn came, I said “Well, I’m going to continue looking for jobs. But…I’m going to play Roller Derby!” I’m pretty sure no one believed me because it kind of came out of nowhere. For me, it had been festering for years and I never told anyone.
When college ended, I had moved to a completely different phase in my life. In January 2017, I attended my first bootcamp with Treasure Valley Roller Derby. At the time, practice was being held in an old barn in Meridian. It was so cold, everyone could see their breath. I accidentally burned a hole in my jacket after learning against a space heater when I wasn’t paying attention. I couldn’t figure out how to put the bulky knee pads on and needed help. All of these awkward things are actually a beautiful memory that I keep in my back pocket and pull out on occasion.
Navigating being an adult while also starting Roller Derby was liberating. It gave me an entire network that I didn’t know existed. When I told my parents I was learning how to skate to play Roller Derby, they laughed in my face. If I’m being honest, they weren’t very supportive at first. They thought it was odd, Roller Derby is a more “alternative” sport and I was never athletic. I tried many sports that I never finished and every sport I participated in, my dad would tell me to be more aggressive.
Eventually, their viewpoints completely changed when the Covid pandemic hit and they got to witness everything it meant to me. It took my mom about 5 years to buy a t-shirt, but I am proud to report that she wears it confidently. Both of my parents love watching Beet City have fun on game day!
Treasure Valley Roller Derby taught me how to skate.
Beet City Bombers taught me how to derby.
Although I love TVR and always credit them for teaching me how to skate, BCB is my home. I’m not going to lie, I had a rough couple of years into Roller Derby. I was constantly comparing myself to others, which was hard on my mental health. Once you learn how to skate, you then have to learn how to play the sport you came there to play. I didn’t know where I belonged on the track. I wanted to be as good as my teammates immediately, and failed to acknowledge that it took them years of hard work to get there. It’s been seven years now, I’m still learning…and believe me, my thighs are still burning.
I hold Roller Derby and skating separately. They are completely different things for me, even though you use one to do the other. I do this because I learned how to skate and play derby at two different leagues. I never want to forget my love of skating and the freedom it brings me.
When I’m skating fast and in the zone, it’s just me and the skates on my feet. Don’t even get me started on skating backwards, it’s kind of my thing. I was taught by a very passionate skater who valued footwork and control. These things became important to me too, so I carry them with me and I share them. That photo in my grandma’s kitchen wasn’t me playing Roller Derby, I was skating. Someday I’m going to leave this earth and when I do, they better bury me with my skates on. We belong together…now queue Mariah Carey.
As far as Roller Derby goes, I cherish the moments I share on the track with my teammates. I look back fondly on the memories we have created and look forward to the ones we will make. In derby, I very much enjoy the things we do together more than when I do something on my own. Also, it’s kind of cool being able to mentor my newer teammates. I love our Beet Seeds!
Roller Derby isn’t about me though and my love of skating. Roller Derby is about the community, and Beet City is my community. We believe that making memories is better than the score, even though we still work hard and like to win. We are better together than being alone. We don’t like hurting each other, but damn, Rocket has a hard shoulder. Even when we lose, we always win the after party. We don’t like falling, but when we do, we learn from it.
Roller Derby has given me friends for life. A teammate recommended me for a job that gave me stability and changed my life. A teammate rescued a kitten and convinced me to take her home. Today, she is my best friend and even has a buddy. Yes, I am the proud cat mom of Doja and Cardi.
As a single woman in her late 20’s, having this community is everything. I know that there is a place for me at Beet City, just like there is a place for you. I’m meant to be here, maybe you are too. As a single person who is still navigating being an adult, having this community is everything. I can proudly say I spent the majority of my 20’s playing Roller Derby. I look forward to turning 30 this year because I have witnessed my teammates only get better with age!
If you are contemplating joining our community, we like karaoke!
✌️❤️🛼
Bash 🍑
